theStrider.com - My Taglines Collection

D&D Taglines

"Munchkins! (arming +10 vs Munchkins Rocket Launcher)"
DM Advice: Conan cannot safely be translated to AD&D stats.
DM Advice: Every tavern scene should end in a brawl.
DM Advice: All dice rolls are whatever you want them to be.
DM Advice: Cast Detect Magic on a TSR module and it'll explode.
DM Advice: Dead monsters are *always* naked and penniless.
DM Advice: He who buys the pizza, lives.
DM Advice: Lead figures do not taste very good.
DM Advice: Maps on the table have a tendency to attract soda.
DM Advice: Never grab a miniature after picking your nose.
DM Advice: Never kill a character without first humiliating him.
DM Advice: Never let a monster die without doing some damage.
DM Advice: Never let the PCs get your bag of Doritos.
DM Advice: The rulebook you want is at the bottom of the stack.
DM Advice: To maintain game balance, all wizards must die young.
DM Advice: Used character sheets make good tinder.
DM Advice: Never reward a player who serves you Kool-Aid and crackers.
DM's don't lie, they just arrange the facts to suit them.
DM's love a hero; DM's also love a good joke. Think about it.
DM Nightmare #2: Wild mages. Need I say more?
DM Mistakes #2: "I'll let them have that. They'll never find a use."
Player to Bad DM: "Just how many Liches are in this village?"
Player to Bad DM: "Whadda mean tinker gnomes invented uzis????"
DM: "Roll lower then 3 on 4d6 to escape." PC: "Okay...hey..."
DM: And the mage draws her two handed sword. PC: We're in trouble.
DM: Behind the door is a red dragon. PC: I close the door!
AD&D Mistake #1: Insulting anything twice your size
AD&D Mistake #2: Insulting an archmage
AD&D Mistake #3: Wrestling with a fire elemental
AD&D Mistake #4: Disbelieving everything that does more than 5 damage
AD&D Mistake #5: Laughing at jokes while spellcasting
AD&D Mistake #6: Mistaking your ugly friend for an orc
AD&D Mistake #10: Scratching your back with a dagger of venom
AD&D Mistake #24: Shaking the king's hand when you have 25 strength
AD&D Mistake #27: Showing your magical items to a kender
AD&D Mistake #30: Torturing a diety's favorite cleric
AD&D Mistake #42: Teaching a barbarian how to cast lightning bolts
AD&D Lesson #216: Never insult an archmage.
AD&D Lesson #231: Backstabbing a skeleton doesn't work.
AD&D Lesson #247: Never correct a dragon.
AD&D Advice: "When in doubt, FIREBALL!"
AD&D Advice: Always attack a floating eye from BEHIND!
AD&D Advice: It exists only if the DM allows it to exist.
AD&D Advice: Never turn your back on a monster.
AD&D Advice: Never use a lightning bolt in a small room.
Another Bad Idea: Being knighted with a Sword of Life Stealing.
Another Bad Idea: Bowling with a sphere of annihilation.
Another Bad Idea: Scratching your back with a +5 Vorpal sword.
Famous Last Words: "Dragon? What dragon?"
Famous Last Words: "A 25th lvl CE mage/cleric? I pinch her butt!"
Famous Last Words: "Am I seeing things or is that a dragon?"
Famous Last Words: "Magic users are WIMPS!"
Famous Last Words: "This dungeon is a pushover."
Famous Last Words: "This looks like a safe place to camp."
Famous Last Words: "This should be easy..."
Famous Last Words: "Those Orcs couldn't hit an elephant at thi-"
Famous Last Words: "It's just a harmless little bunny..."
Famous Last Words: "You and *WHAT* army?"
Famous Last Words: "+25 to hit, +30 damage? YOU GO FIRST!"
Famous Last Words: "12 Death Knights? I close the door..."
Famous Last Words: "Brak? That's a stupid name for a barbarian."
Famous Last Words: "Don't worry, I can handle it."
Famous Last Words: "Dragon HORDE? I thought y'said Dragon HOARD!"
Famous Last Words: "Forget picking the lock-just kick the door down."
Famous Last Words: "I want to challenge my god to a duel..."
Famous Last Words: "Nothing ever happens on the first level."
Famous Last Words: "Oooops..."
Famous Last Words: "They're JUST kobolds. What're you scared of?"
Famous Last Words: "We really didn't need a Cleric anyway."
Famous Last Words: "You're a sorry excuse for a God..."
Carpe DM: Sieze the Dungeon Master.
PC: "Natural 20!" DM: "You miss." PC: "Uh-oh.."
DM RULES - #1: I am always right. #2: When I am wrong, see rule #1.
Famous DM Farewells: "It hits and... Oh, hold on... I need more dice"
More Level 10 Spells - "Silence 15 Toddlers"
More Level 10 spells - "Transmute Buick to Porsche"
More Level 10 spells - "Control DM"
More Level 10 spells - "Power word, tickle - torture DM"
DM's Most Valuable spell - "Locate Sanity"
Bad DM!: But the A-bomb hasn't been invented yet!
Bad DM!: Exactly what is a `pantheon'... and why is it mad at me?
Bad DM!: `Spontaneous Decompression' is a spell?
Bad DM!: "Flaming Plasma Death" is a spell?
Bad DM!: How the hell's a GARGANTUA pursuing us in a 10' wide coridor?
The ultimate ward: Protection from Taxes
I point the wand at the dragon. DM: You die PC: WHAT!? DM: Wrong end.
Speak softly and carry a two-handed sword.
2 Handed Sword: n. Adjustment tool for alignment problems.
Be Nice to Your Enemies, It Drives Them Nuts.
The best defense is to stay out of range.
Tis but a flesh wound...
"Four shalt thou not count, neither shat thou count to two, unless thou proceedeth directly to three. Five is right out."
Run AWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!
Good generally conquers evil. Unless, of course, good is stupid.
Orcs deserve rights.... and lefts, jabs, uppercuts....
With every wish there comes a curse.
Steel: The ultimate arbitrator!
"Friend or foe?" "Which one do you prefer?"
Didn't mean to?! You put your sword right thru his head!
I've seen this kind before... terminal psychotic.
WHAT the...? A Ring of _DUNGEON_MASTER_CONTROL_?!?!?!?!?!!!
Honor is niether time, nor place, nor thing, but it is.
Mine! Mine mine mine! [cackle gleefully, retreating into the night]...
Nice DM... Good DM... Set down the Outerplanes Mon. Manual...
It's not a Dungeon, it's a Fortified Underground Defense!
Worry not, dear Kender. We're just going to cut off your hands!
OK, the first thing we'll do is strangle the Kender.
Kender and ale do not mix...
Worry not, for the Kender has been staked out in the desert..
Reading J.R.R. Tolkien is hobbit-forming.
"Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!"
"I'm standing! And I can't fall down!"
"No, you idiot! A fireball is NOT used to cook your meals!
"No road is ever old." -- Tasslehoff Burrfoot
"That wasn't a demi-lich you just stepped on, was it?"
"Thief" is so ugly. I prefer "Creative Acquisition Specialist."
"How honest is he?" "As honest as you and I." "Keep an eye on him."
"Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun." -- Army of Darkness
"I am as far beyond Gods as they are beyond you."
"Once swords are crossed the gun becomes useless." -- Musashi
"Surrender!" "You wish to surrender to me? Fine, I accept."
"Ah, here we go... Fireball... wonderful spell." -- Fizban
"Don't worry. Nothing ever happens at first level."
"Geez! I must be Lawful Good! I believe in the Rules!"
"Gosh, I bet that dragon bite really smarts!"
"The DM lies." Note inside a used Player's Handbook.
"They're just kobolds. What are you worried about?"
"I am the Dragon. You are *NOT* the Dragon. Any questions?"
"It's simple, lad," mulled the dragon. "He who hesitates... is lunch."
"Can't you get it right? Loot, Pillage, THEN Burn!"
"No, I don't know what my save vs. atomic blast is!"
"CURSE US AND CRUSH US, MY PRECIOUS IS LOST! - Gollum
"Dawn take you all - and be STONE to you!" - Gandalf
"If precious asks and it doesn't answer, we EATS it!" - Gollum
"Is it juicy? Is it scrumptiously crunchable?" - Gollum
"Is it nice, my preciousss?" - Gollum
"It isn't fair...to ask what it's got in its nasty little pocketses?"
"THIEF! THIEF! THIEF! BAGGINS! WE HATES IT...FOR EVER!" - Gollum
"We came over hill and under hill, by wave and wind, for revenge!"
"A battle of wits," inquired the dragon. "To whose death, Sir knight?"
"Throw Axe! Throw Shield! Throw DWARF!" - beserk Minotaur
"As I go forward, I hold my sword high in honor of you."
"'Ere! 'E says 'e's not dead!"
"Ah don' wanna talk to you no more."
"Brother Maynard! Bring out the Holy Hand Grenade!"
"Bless this Holy Hand Grenade and with it smash our enemy to tiny bits!"
"And Saint Attila raised the Holy Hand Grenade up on high..."
"Don't come here with that posh talk, you nasty stuck-up twit!"
"I fart in your general direction!"
"I'm French! Why do you think I have this outrageous accent?"
"I'm not quite dead yet"
"Death awaits you with long ears and nasty, sharp, teeth!"
"...by now you should realize that I'm always right." - Doug Pirko
"Never argue with anything scaly and 10 times bigger than you..."
Umm... Can I UN-cast that Fireball? I think it made him mad.
Beware of magicians, they manifest anger in strange ways.
Chain Lightning: For when you just can't stop at one.
"Surrender!" "You wish to surrender to me? Fine, I accept."
The only good troll is a fireballed troll!
You can have my sword when you pry it from my dead hands!
When the DM smiles it's too late.
ADVENTURE: Somewhere between entertainment and panic.
Ah but my cleric has a +10 spoon of sharpness!
Guildmaster is that a Half Dragon cutting open your purse?
War. Such a strange game. The only winning move is not to play.
HIGH LEVEL NPC: The one who parries fireballs.
Whoops. Can I un-cast that fireball?
Patience my ass... I'm going to kill something.
New spell: Summon Rocket Launcher...
Munchkin is as munchkin does.
Out numbered 20,000 to 2...... and we killed them both.
Cry "ribbit" and let slip the frogs of war.
Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run. He hates that.
Good games are built on the shoulders of good players.
Experience: Knowing a lot of things you shouldn't do again.
Necromancers put the FUN back in funerals!
It's hard to fly with Dragons when ya work w/Kobolds..
To err is human. As an Elf, I should know.
All in favor of telekinesis, raise my hands.
Old Immortals never die, they just....don't.
Death before dishonour, but only if the cleric can raise dead.
When a kender say "oops".....RUN, AND DON'T EVER LOOK BACK!!!!
No job too easy, no fee too large. Dragons rescued, Virgins slain.
ADVENTURE: The land between entertainment and panic.
Cry, "Shhhh!" and slip quietly out the Dragon's door...
Science asks how. Philosophy asks why. Dragons don't care.
That dragon's a wuss... a wimp... and behind me, isnt he?
* Drow (n); Elf with a killer tan.
"..the rules are not cut and dried." - AD&D Player's Handbook, pg. 8
Dwarven Thrower +3: A magical hammer that hurls dwarves.
Sorry, my Kender "borrowed" your tagline...
"A book, a friend, a song, a glass, a chaste loving lass"
It was just then the Dwarves encountered the Beer Golem..
A Red Dragon?! Hmmph! I grab my trusty spoon +2 and charge 'im!!
Now you understand that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.
CRASH! BOOM! CRACK! POW! God, I love that wand!
Fisandantilus, Of The Black Robes! I think I can take this guy.
Those who live by the dragon die by the dragonlance.